Can you define me?

The reason I used the title that I did is because as a child I was broken. Through out my life my mother has had an addiction, and she has been a stripper. When I was in the fifth grade my mother introduced me to pot, and I hardly went to school throughout that year, and failed. After that  year of school we started moving around. She pulled me out of school and started homeschooling me, and by that I mean that I didn’t do anything, like any kid would. We lived out of a hotel for about two years, and after that we finally moved into an apartment. Once we did that, my mother started doing cocaine. I am a carbon copy of my mother. When you get involved with drugs, and bad people, bad things happen. We had drug dealers breaking in, and I was held at gunpoint, because they though that I was my mother. Thankfully I lived. After about a year in the apartment, my aunt came and took me away. There is more to the story, but that is just another chapter of my life. Due to my past I am a changed person, and a strong one at that. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the experiences that I have been through.

I am fairly young. I have always been the youngest of all my friends, the youngest of my family, but I don’t look it. It’s a blessing and a curse. I’ve lied about my age countless times. Not to look cool and not to achieve some social acceptance, mind you. It’s only because most days I feel as old as the sun and others I feel about 19 so why tell the truth that feels more like the lie anyways? It wasn’t until recently I became comfortable with my age. And what a weird thing to not feel comfortable about to begin with! Your age changes with every day but that’s the thing, I always feel like life is going by too fast and I’m stuck far far behind. I’ll always get social stigma thrown at me when I reveal my age for the first time but to me it merely means I have even more time to fuck up than you do. 

Maybe part of peoples’ attitude towards my age has to deal with the fact that I am also a girl and I have never been afraid to flaunt it. I have tits and hips and hair longer than the nile river and I want everyone to know it! A radical girl like this certainly can’t be roaming the streets especially at this age, now can she!?

And lastly, the vegan title. The only thing I have to say here is I definitely wouldn’t be so comfortable with my body if it weren’t for my strict vegan diet. Thanks for reading, have a wonderful night.

I guess I’ve never really wondered or questioned my identity as far as sexuality/ gender go. I’ve always been a girly girl with a tad bit of tomboy thrown in. And I’ve actually always loved being a girl. I love the make up, the clothes, being able to cry when an amazing song comes on without being labeled by the mainstream as ‘weak’ (though I believe crying with complete abandon takes an enormous amount of strength). 

I’ve also always been really clear about being attracted to men. Honestly, I’ve never had a crush on a girl. I just haven’t. 

And while society would consider that the ‘norm’, I’ve never really felt ‘normal’; I know what it’s like to feel like an outcast, even though I’m a strait white girl.